Early A.M. Thoughts

For some reason, people expect me to be the "fun" girl.  No inhibitions. No boundaries.  Wild, crazy, and carefree.  A "free-spirit" of sorts.  I have been all of those things, up until this very moment.  There's no denying this invisible clock, that we're all aware of (some more than others).  This clock waits on no man, woman, or child.   The older you get, the more prevalent it becomes.  I have been wasting so much time by doing things that are unimportant and irrelevant to my life.  Going out, being silly, drinking, and being the life of the party.  Even as I type that (I cringe).  That's soooo not me! In the past month or so, after a night of hanging out, I've been feeling pressed down by a physical exhaustion that haunts my body and seems to reach my soul.  That party girl I pretend to be is getting older and wiser.  I would rather be having intelligent and thought-provoking conversations, reading a good book (preferably on the beach), traveling, learning, thrifting, taking pictures, cooking, DIY projects, & writing on my blog.  Yet, there I was last night.  Out of my element.  Wasting precious time.  NOW the question is, why do I do it?  It's quite difficult to meet people who enjoy doing the same things I do.  So, I sacrifice... and do what's expected, and go along with what the majority wants to do.  Until this very moment.  There will be no powerful will bending mine in this blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature.  Even if it means excluding all associates & so-called friends.  I am okay with that.  

Naturally, I am a loner anyway. 

Instagram picture of Moi



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