What happened to you. Why did you let your negative thoughts and beliefs become your reality? Why could you never be fully authentic with others, and most importantly, yourself? Guarded, insecure, lonely, sad - but you hid it so well. Fake laughs, smiles, drunken nights just so you could deal with social settings, using certain physical attributes to cover your inner secret of grief, and regrets. Anger and bitterness fills your existence because of a childhood and family you never had and will never have. Take this medicine, the psychiatrist tells me. Take this medicine, the doctor says. The pills are a temporary fix and numb me. I like the numbing feeling, but I can't stand how they make me nauseous and dizzy - so I stop taking them, only to feel the familiar rush of emotions overtake me. Was I born sad? No one can ever know my thoughts. They would think I'm a monster. And maybe I am.
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