Yung P
Without a proper definition, happiness will always feel elusive and unattainable. Happiness can seem like an opaque goal until you realize that what you are actually striving for is a mixture of peace and joy.
On the road to happiness many get sidetracked by thinking that what they are looking for is pleasure. Getting happiness confused with pleasure becomes problematic because the craving for pleasure builds a lot of tension in the mind and it keeps the mind focused on external things. This idea makes you think that what you need is outside of you. Even when you get what you want there is always more to crave, it is a non-ending and dissatisfying habit pattern.
After a certain amount of reflection, the insight arises that happiness is not about what you can get, it’s an internally cultivated mindset. By examining your own past, you see that the distance between you and happiness has been created by the intensity of your reactions and the turbulence in your mind, both of which are internal dynamics that can shatter your enjoyment of good things that are trying to come your way. If your mind is not in a good place, it will not be able to accept the gifts that life is trying to give you.
To build a mindset that allows happiness in, you need to develop the quality of non-reactiveness. Life is generally uncontrollable and it is not possible to live without challenges, so eventually unwanted things and tough situations will appear. Being able to create space in your mind where you can recognize something as undesirable without reacting to it intensely not only helps you deal with it better, but it also keeps you connected to your peace. Not reacting literally allows peace to exist in your mind. The less you react, the more peace you have.
Similarly, for joy to exist, you need to cultivate your sense of presence. If you are disconnected from what is happening within you and from what is right in front of you, then it will not be possible to experience the true depths of joy. Being able to spend more time in the present moment and to give those you are interacting with more of your genuine attention, opens the possibility for more joy to arise within you.
Both peace and joy and their counterparts, non-reactiveness and present moment awareness, all stem from a particular quality of mind, equanimity. When the mind is balanced and steady, when it is taking in the world without holding onto it, when it is simply observing without judging, the mind is in a state of equanimity. The door to access the full beauty of life and the wisdom of the universe is opened by equanimity.
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